“Body hair is rarely just body hair.”
That was one of the first things that became clear when we spoke with Sam Marshall.
Body hair and confidence are more connected than many people realise.
Hair can carry so much more than people realise. It can be practical, emotional, embarrassing, comforting, dysphoric or freeing. For some people, hair removal is something they book before a holiday. For others, it is part of getting ready for a date, sex, or simply feeling comfortable being seen up close.
Sometimes the feeling runs the other way, with hair growth helping someone feel more at home in themselves. That is part of the wider meaning too. What hair represents is never fixed, and it does not belong to anyone else.
At Ludus Love, we talk a lot about body confidence, self-expression and intimacy. This conversation sits right in the middle of all of that, because the way we feel about our bodies rarely stays in front of the bathroom mirror. It follows us into relationships, changing rooms, holidays, photographs, beauty spaces and the small routines we often keep to ourselves.
For this first part of our conversation, we spoke with Sam about body hair, PMOS, shame, intimacy and the right to choose what feels comfortable for your own body.
Meet Sam Marshall
Sam Marshall is the founder of The Beauty Guru in MediaCity and Omnia in Sale. She has worked in beauty for years, but her work has grown into something much bigger than treatments.
Her spaces are built around care, privacy and education. Her clients include people with PMOS, trans and non-binary people, neurodivergent clients, nervous clients, and people who may have avoided beauty spaces because they were worried about being judged.
What stands out when you speak to Sam is that she does not talk about bodies as problems waiting to be fixed. She talks about listening: what a person wants, what they are worried about and what would help them feel comfortable. That shift matters when the subject is as personal as body hair.
Why body hair means different things to different people
Sam sees how differently body hair can show up depending on the person, the area of the body and the reason they are booking. She spoke about cis men coming in before a holiday, cyclists removing hair because of chafing, and people booking an intimate wax before a date or a new relationship.
The same treatment can mean completely different things to different clients. One person might book a wax because they like how their skin feels afterwards. Another might be tired of planning clothes around hair they would rather not show. Someone else might choose laser because shaving every morning has become exhausting.
It is easy to flatten those choices into ideas about beauty standards, but people are more complicated than that. We can question the pressure to be smooth and still respect someone who chooses hair removal. We can celebrate body hair without suggesting that everybody must keep theirs. Body autonomy has to leave room for both.
It also leaves room for changing your mind. What feels right during one period of your life may not feel right later, and there is no failure in that. A body is lived in, not finished.
PMOS, facial hair and the silence around shame
PMOS, formerly known as PCOS, is more common than many people realise and can affect people in different ways. For some, excess facial or body hair is one of the changes that carries the most emotional weight.
When Sam spoke about clients with hormonal facial hair, she kept returning to shame. Not because facial hair itself is shameful, but because women and people with PMOS are so often taught that it is something they must hide.
“They don’t talk about it because they’re so ashamed of that facial hair.”
That silence can become its own burden. People may shave in secret, cover the area with makeup, avoid bright light or turn their face away when someone comes close. Some hide it even from partners. Sam shared an anonymous example of a client who felt comfortable being deeply intimate with her husband, but still did not want him to know about the hair on her chin.
That detail stayed with us because it shows how specific body shame can be. Someone can feel safe in much of their relationship and still feel deeply vulnerable about one symptom, one routine or one part of their body. Shame does not always take over everything; sometimes it gathers quietly around one place.
For some people, facial hair affects dating, photographs, holidays and how comfortable they feel standing close to someone in conversation. It can shape the first few minutes of every morning before anyone else sees them. Calling it “just hair” misses the amount of planning and emotional energy it can take.
Sam believes people dealing with significant facial hair deserve better access to support and clear, respectful information about their options. This is not about promising a particular result or suggesting removal is the answer for everyone. It is about making sure people are not left to navigate distress and uncertainty alone.
Hair removal may feel like relief for one person. Another may decide to keep their hair, change how they groom it or stop treating it as a secret. Each choice deserves respect.
Body hair, intimacy and confidence
Body hair can affect intimacy in ways people do not always say directly. Sam noted that clients may not announce, “I am avoiding sex because of this,” but their worries can surface in other ways. Someone waits to sleep with a new partner until after an intimate wax. Someone books before a holiday. Someone says they want to feel cleaner, more confident or more comfortable.
This part of the conversation needs care. Hair is not unhygienic, and nobody should feel they have to remove it to be attractive, desirable or worthy of touch. At the same time, it is okay if removing hair helps somebody relax in their body. Dismissing that choice can feel as controlling as insisting upon it.
The useful question is not whether hair removal is good or bad. It is whether the choice feels like your own. Is it coming from personal comfort and self-trust, or from fear that a partner will judge you? Can you change your mind without punishment or embarrassment? Do you feel able to talk about what you want?
At Ludus Love, we do not believe a body must be smooth, hair-free, altered or performed before it deserves pleasure and softness. You are allowed to remove hair. You are allowed not to. You are allowed to do something different next month.
If these questions connect with your own experiences of dating or being seen, you may also enjoy our conversation with Tiny’s Barber about identity, confidence and inclusive grooming.
Embarrassed to book? You are not alone
If you have avoided booking a treatment because you feel embarrassed, nervous or unsure what to expect, Sam understands why. Some people have had poor experiences in salons. Some have been judged, misgendered, rushed or made to feel as though their body was unusual. That can make trying somewhere new feel like a risk.
In a professional, respectful space, however, your body should not be treated as shocking. Sam put it plainly:
“We’ve seen everything.”
Different shapes and sizes. Scars, stretch marks and surgical changes. Facial hair, body hair and intimate areas. People who feel confident, people who are nervous, and people who have never booked a treatment before.
A good professional is not there to inspect your body for flaws. They should explain your options, protect your privacy, answer questions without judgement and give you space to decide. You should not have to apologise for hair, scars, body changes or uncertainty.
It is reasonable to ask about the process before booking. You can ask what happens during a consultation, how privacy is handled, whether you can pause, what the treatment may feel like and whether the practitioner has experience supporting clients with similar concerns. The way a business answers can tell you a great deal.
Coming back to choice
If there is one thread running through this conversation, it is choice. Body hair does not mean the same thing for everyone, so confidence cannot have one approved look.
Removing hair can feel freeing for one person and unnecessary for another. Keeping it can feel powerful. Trimming it can feel practical. Changing nothing can be the most comfortable option. None of these choices makes somebody more hygienic, more authentic or more deserving than anyone else.
What matters is having enough information, safety and respect to decide what feels right for your body. That decision can include waxing, shaving, laser, electrolysis or doing absolutely nothing at all.
Body confidence is not a finish line where every insecurity disappears. Sometimes it is simply having more room to make a decision without shame speaking for you.
Maybe body hair is rarely just body hair because our bodies are rarely only physical. They carry stories, pressure, memory, comfort, shame, confidence and change. The point is not to decide what everyone should do with their hair. It is to make sure nobody has to make that decision from shame.
Related reading:
If this conversation resonated with you, you may also want to read Beyond “LGBTQ+ Friendly”: What Real Inclusive Beauty Care Looks Like, where we continue the conversation with Sam around trans-affirming care, safer beauty spaces and what inclusion looks like in practice. You may also enjoy our conversation with Tiny’s Barber about identity, confidence and inclusive grooming.
Explore Sam’s work
Sam’s spaces are built around care, privacy, education and inclusion. If you are exploring hair removal or looking for a place where your questions will be taken seriously, you can contact her directly:
Omnia Hair Removal, Sale
166 Cross Street, Sale, M33 7AQ
Visit the Omnia website
Follow Omnia on Instagram
The Beauty Guru, MediaCity
Arrive Blue, Blue Tower, MediaCityUK, Salford, M50 2ST
Visit The Beauty Guru website
For more conversations around body confidence, intimacy, self-trust and safer spaces, explore more Ludus Love stories on body confidence and intimacy.
